i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
