i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I did not marry a roomba.
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