hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
