Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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