You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
