YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
