I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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