4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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