just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
