Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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