I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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