normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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