I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
