His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize