it hurts more in the daytime
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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