You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
