I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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