This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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