He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
