can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I am morally bankrupt
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
