I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize