He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
