Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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