i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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