need another drink. this is the easiest way
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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