she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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