Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
