I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
