should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
