pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
