"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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