what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
