i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
