I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
