what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
