so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
