No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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