operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she looked like the before picture.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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