I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize