I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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