good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
