at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
