Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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