I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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