Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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