well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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