butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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