yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
