Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
