You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
