if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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