ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
